It's about talent.
It's about the people around you who are talented.
Who are agented.
Who are published (self or traditionally, tyvm).
Who are award winners.
Who are AWESOME.
Art is a weird and twisted thing sometimes. We create and then we want desperately for others to approve of our work. We compare our work to everyone else's. We think about how good everyone else's manuscript is. How beautiful their prose. How lively their characters are.
And maybe, it's a HUMAN reaction to want to cut that talented person down.
Sometimes, our egos get in the way and our instinct is to try and diminish their talent to make our own seem brighter.
But here's the thing...
Your talent doesn't diminish mine.
Her talent doesn't diminish yours.
You can be brilliant and creative and unique and beautiful and SO CAN SHE.
I am a middle school teacher. I work with young people all day, every day, and they are awful to eachother. Especially girls. It is this instictive thing that girls do (how do they learn this?!) that when they feel bad about themselves, they tear other people down.
If I call her ugly, it will make me feel more beautiful.
But that never works.
So, here's my big metaphor. Ready?
Talent/beauty/amazeballsness... it's like the flame of a candle.
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| Photo by SarThePhotographer via wiki commons |
When I share my light with you, my light doesn't go out.
IT JUST MAKES MORE LIGHT.
Your light and mine can glow side by side... there isn't a limited supply. There's always more to burn.
Ages ago, I wrote a blog called "Flowers Just Bloom" which was featured on the Operation Beautiful website. I want to quote a bit of it here:
Flowers just bloom.
They don’t compare themselves to other blossoms.
They don’t want for more or less petals.
They don’t wish they were another color.
They don’t feel insecure if they open more quickly or slowly than another.
They don’t feel guilty if they’re more symmetrical or tall than another bud.
Flowers just bloom.
They open, and blossom. They REACH for the sun! They spread their petals, and root into the earth, and they strive only to be the most full, complete, and beautiful flower that they can be.
I just want to blossom. I just want to bloom, and feel beautiful in my own patch of earth. I don’t want to worry about what the other flowers are wearing, or what size they are, or how high they can sing without straining, or how fit they are, or how thoughtful they are. So, I’m working on it. Just trying to bloom…
I don't intend for this message to be preachy... I know it can be hard to wait and to watch others who are where you want to be.
But I promise that supporting others breeds in you such an appreciation for your own journey... I believe it's worth it.
It's so true. One of my best friends got a revision request after querying three days prior. It's hard not to be jealous of that, but for the love of Mike, she writes nonfiction picturebooks. Of course her journey will be different! All I can do is be happy for her and focus on my own road.
ReplyDeleteThat's so true. It can be hard to resist the pull of jealousy. I know I struggle with it. But I'm so much happier if I can keep my own chin up! :D
DeleteBeautiful, and so honest. Well said, Kels.
ReplyDeleteThanks, punkin. <3
DeleteSweet girl! I love this so much. And it's so very universally applicable. Huzzah!
ReplyDeleteThanks Julie. *squish*
DeleteThis is a great post. I'll admit that I felt a little envy recently after some writer friends had success with getting representation and publishing deals (though I kept this envy to myself). However, after a lot of reflection over Thanksgiving weekend, I realized that their success doesn't impede mine. I should be grateful that I love writing as much as I do and that I belong to such an awesome community of YA writers.
ReplyDeleteIt's so freeing, isn't it? At least that's how I feel now. :)
DeleteI love this!!! Thanks so much for posting!! It's such a great reminder, one I needed :)
ReplyDeleteI needed the reminder as much as anybody!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully put! This is a post that will be saved & pulled out on my crappy days. Amazing!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy it resonated with you. And thanks for stopping by to comment. :)
DeleteI had this super awesome reply typed out and now it's gone! *cries*
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I love this post. I hate how just because someone is talented other people always try to diminish them because they're jealous. It always boggles my mind how petty those people are.
I'm the opposite. I need the talented people around me because it makes me strive to become a better version of myself and surrounding myself with people like you inspires me more than anything..like, I have been known to be smiling SO HARD for something good that happened to someone that tears came out.
All you can do is practice your craft, work hard to be the best you can be, and remember that things happen at different times for different people.
I hate when my comments/replies get eaten. Thanks for sharing a little love, Crystal. You're always so supportive. :D
DeleteLove this post!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Liz!
DeleteI love this post. Sometimes I feel so guilty for having "made" it. Like, who am I to get a book contract when there are all these other supremely talented people out there. It's hard to realize so much is based on the way the wind blows on any given day and it doesn't make one person better or worse. It just means the wind was blowing perfectly on the day things lined up.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm rambling. And you're beautiful. Thank you.
Jaye, you always make me feel so warm and fuzzy. Thanks for your thoughts... and I'm so happy that you've "made it" because the sweetest people deserve the most precious happenings! :D
DeleteThis is SO true. Everyone has a different path. I love celebrating the success of my friends...it makes me happy, and I do better work when I'm happy.
ReplyDeleteAin't that the truth?!
DeleteThis just might be my favorite blog post EVER. Love, love, L-O-V-E it!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Shari! That makes me feel awesome. :)
DeleteNew follower here...I found your blog through someone's Twitter post. I myself get excited when someone I know lands an agent or a book deal...then I get to tell people "I know someone who..." But I can see how some people who are feeling insecure might not react the way I do.
ReplyDeleteI agree that there are insecure mean girls in junior high. And, to add to that, there can also be nastiness among females in a variety of settings beyond junior high.
Totally. I participating in a screening of a documentary called finding kind about how girls and women are cruel to eachother JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE HURT THEM ONCE. It creates a culture of people who think it's just a part of life-- the being a mean girl or mean girls being OK.
DeleteBookmarking this :)
ReplyDeleteThanks. :D
DeleteLove the metaphor to a candle's light. It is so true. We can never hamper or hinder one another by sharing our creative sparks. We can only grow brighter.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post and for your inspiration to other writers!
I would love for you to check out my blog sometime and maybe lend some feedback my way. I'm working on finishing my first novel and will be posting updates on my progress. I wish you the best in your work!