So, I sent some pretty intense emails about a week and a half ago, and all of my digits are crossed as I wait for responses.
I'm nervous. I can't lie.
I mean, I can... but I won't.
Waiting makes you feel all sorts of crazy feelings. Like, one day you feel so confident that you've written your very soul onto a page, and you believe so deeply that the person on the other end will see and appreciate that. And then the next second, your whole brain floods with the truth of how high the odds are stacked against you. That the likelihood of them loving it and understanding it and believing in it is so very small.
And you want them to really think about it, and to be sure... because that's what is best for both of you. But you mostly just want them to LIKE YOU! LIKE MY STORY! VALIDATE MEEE! And you know that's totally stupid and not even the point.
And yet, you watch your inbox, helplessly for hours on end.
Sitting in the schoolhouse yesterday, watching my incredible, challenging, CHALLENGED students just trying to get through the early years of their lives, already weighed down by labels and stigmas and life, I felt a surge of excitement.
I know that writing for those kids, and giving them someone to connect with is something that I'm meant to do. So, I know that eventually my story will be in their hands. I just hope I don't have to wait a lifetime for it to happen. :)
I can't WAIT for the day that I get a phone call and get to hear the person on the other end tell me that they understand how much it all means... That they feel it too.
Anyway, those are my random musings for today.
One quick bit of housekeeping:
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